Welcome, my name will be Curious Sars and this blog will be about the things that are currently influencing my comic MoonPops.
Mum: Why have you got microwave meals?
Me: Well, I haven't been eating much since I've been ill because I'm too dizzy to stand and make something. So I thought if I got minimal effort food I'd get back to eating. (Seen as how nobody has offered to make me food once since I got ill five days ago)
Mum: Oh okay.
Mum: Will you walk the dogs?
The spiral of silence is a political science and mass communication theory propounded by the German political scientist Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann. Spiral of silence theory describes the process by which one opinion becomes dominant as those who perceive their opinion to be in the minority do not speak up because society threatens individuals with fear of isolation. The assessment of one’s social environment may not always be correct with reality.
Feel like I can’t trust anyone at the moment (that includes you!!! voice in my head - fuck off!)
Keep coming to blows with everyone recently, although it’s nice to feel like a kid again, I had the biggest temper tantrum last Monday (I lost my breakfast sub in the process and I LOVE breakfast subs, yes I know it’s owned by Mcdonald’s, but ya know what, when I need to get in a good mood fast, it’s the one “legal” thing that seems to put a smile on my moody face!)
Keep coming to blows with my house mate and I think it’s got to the stage where if I talk about it to friends, it feels like i’m on a self induced spiral of whininess - can’t say I blame them to be honest. (It is my problem after all!)
But I’m the kinda girl where if you give me loyalty and respect, I’ll give it back (maybe i’m old fashioned that way.) but also this is the VIBE I trying to put into my comic, all those characters are friends, fuck it they’re family and they have each other’s back, but people change.
As i’ve gotten older I’ve excepted the fact that people can grow out of each other, I guess it’s the natural order, doesn’t make it any less sad, however maybe if we all stayed the same, we wouldn’t have new experiences, which would be pretty boring and create the illusion that everything is safe
Safe… an odd concept i’ve always thought, yet it’s something we all crave.
I’ve cleaned my room today, figured that if i’m going to be a “good girl” (rofl!) I should create a happy place… A clean room is a happy room (i’m sure I heard that off of Rugrats years ago - it stuck to me now)
So my plans this week are as follows
1) Find a fucking job a.s.a.p - art practitioner work is rare to come by :(
2) write two more pages for chapter 4, then storyboard it!
3) complete filming for “blue knowledge” A side project i’m working on.
Also i’ve been having really odd (and i mean bizzare!) dreams this week, pretty sure that me and my friend Ralph (one of my best friends and he is like a brother to me!) we were getting married, but he left me at the alter… dickhead :p (out of all of them, that one was the least weird!)
Gonna start keeping a dream journal again, start drawing this stuff down could use it for my next story!
Also been have this tune by le1f repeating in my head.
It’s neary 2.30 in the morning, I feel like I should be doing Moonpops… but it is 2.30am.
So, instead I’ve decided that I’m going to write a list of things that I want to do this year.
1) save money so I can move to my own place (fuck this current situation - long story short, My house mate who is becoming somewhat of a intolerant asshole is sleeping downstairs, so he can get up in the morning, somehow I think there is more hope in resurrecting Jesus fucking Christ then him getting up at a reasonable hour.)
2) Stay sober for a year… (it’s going well so far)
3) Get a part time job
4) Conduct experiments with my good friend Humira (At least I have one friend who doesn’t see me as a idiotic fool, for that I am grateful, shame I can’t say the same thing about my other friends.)
5) Finish comic :)
6) Finish Album (working with a good friend, known as CATS and with applesandsnakes.)
7) Get toned….
8) Get laid…
9) Work harder
10) Be happy
Going to try to sleep now (Wish me luck!)